Please Pass the Toffee Poofs
Page 5
"My word Lance, are you alright?" a concerned Koran stands outside
of Lance's
personal quarters. Koran was on his way to check on Nanny, to see how the hefty
maid
was doing, and heard Lance's high-pitched shriek.
On the other side, the short man stands over Lance, blaster warmed up and ready.
He puts his index finger to his lips, then sharply down and across his neck.
"Ah, yeah . . . Just peachy."
"I don't mean to intrude, but what are you doing in there?"
"Um . . . ah . . . My Tae Bo!"
"Good heavens, it sounds like you are hurt. I'm coming in."
"DON'T! . . . I'm not decent."
Koran blushes. "Why are you doing Tae Bo . . . indecent?"
Silence.
"I don't want my clothes to get sweaty?"
Koran does not see the humor in Lance's joke and crossly lecture the door.
"Honest Lance, I don't understand your twisted sense of humor. First you
get me all
worried by your shrieking; then you tell me your doing Tae Bo in your skives.
Mark my
words, someday your mouth will get you in trouble!"
The footsteps fade away, and both men give a sigh of relief.
"Let's see. I snapped you with wet towels, hung you upside down, plucked
all the
leg hairs I could stand . . . What else can I do to you?"
"Let me go?" The man's eyes sharpen.
"Nice try."
The man turns around and produces a small pink bottle. "You leave me no
other
alternative, I'm going to have to give you a Nair shampoo."
Lance's eyes widen, his beautiful mane was in danger. All the shampooing, the
heat oil treatments, the happy memories they shared would be for naught. He
falls to his
knees and sobs, "He's on planet Uncy!"
"That seems a little broad, mind narrowing it. Like where on planet Uncy?"
"I don't know."
"Oh, we were making such progress."
"No really! I don't know where!"
"You know, one day your mouth is going to get you in trouble." The man
grins,
takes a firm grip on Lance's tresses and pops open the lid. Pink fluid oozes out
of its
nozzle.
"In the name of God and all that is decent--" The monitor in Lance's
room flashes
on with Pidge's frustrated mug.
"Don't worry guys, it will be the vacation of your lives." Pidge
emulates Lance's
'slogan'.
The man releases his grip; Lance pulls his head away before the bottle's
contents
reaches him.
"HEY! You're the putts form the custom station! Gimme back my ring you
shmuck!"
"Finders keepers; losers weepers, Creep."
"CREEP! WHY I AUGHTA-- Fine, I have your friend." The man gestures to
the
slinking form trying to make his escape.
"Lance! (snicker) Why are you in your boxers (hee hee)?"
Lance scrunches up his face, "I'm glad you're amused! That makes one of
us!"
"Make that two." The man giggles at Lance's pitiful state.
"Weren't you just chewing out my friend about a certain ring?"
"Oh yeah. Gimme backs my ring you squirt! Or your friend gets it."
Lance's
eyes crosses as the blaster's nozzle is pointed at his head.
"Fine, we'll come and give you the ring."
"No. You stay and I come with your friend and I get the ring."
The connection ends, Pidge slumps his shoulders. Now he was going to have to
tell Hunk about the news. Hunk skips up to Pidge with an armload of calling
tokens.
"Got us some more tokens." Hunk is beaming for the job well done.
"Take them back."
"TAKE THEM BACK! After the tantrum you threw?"
"We don't need them."
"Why?"
"The man from the custom station has Lance and wants the ring."
"Sure thing, let me just dig it up." Hunk unloads the tokens into
Pidge's arms and
starts rummaging through his pockets. He laughs uneasily and switches pockets,
then to
switch back.
"Hunk this is no time to be joking."
"Hmm. I must have mistakenly given it to the nice man with all the
tokens."
Pidge went from ground to ceiling in less then one solar click.
"WHAT! LANCE'S LIFE IS AT STAKE AND YOU GAVE IT AWAY FOR
TOKENS!!!"
"Not him, the ring."
Tokens flew everywhere, some in indiscriminate directions, others at Hunk's
head. The old man behind the token counter watches the two comical figures dash
by.
"Hey that's that guy who forgot his ring."
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